The Hidden Truth About Relationships, Stability & Family Success
It’s a beautiful time we live in—more women than ever are able to pursue careers, earn more money, and create the lives they desire independently. However, as we embrace these changes, it’s also important to acknowledge certain realities about relationships, attraction, and family well-being.
Today's blog is about why women should never feel bad for being attracted to high-achieving men and why men should strive to become their best selves. This is not just about finances—it’s about emotional intelligence, responsibility, and the ability to create a stable, supportive environment, while also aiming to maximize their freedom & earning potential. The reality is that a man’s ability to lead, provide, and protect has a profound impact on both his partner’s and children’s well-being—a fact that is often overlooked in modern conversations.
A lot of people make the tragic mistake of choosing a life partner based on looks, feelings, and short-term comfort. Evidence shows that this approach is deeply flawed and often leads to stress, dissatisfaction, and even divorce. Let’s dive into why.
The Financial Burden of Motherhood
It’s no secret that maternity leave in the U.S. is alarmingly short—the average is just 3.3 weeks. This means that many women must return to work almost immediately after giving birth, placing immense stress on the entire family.
Unfortunately, many couples fail to take this reality into account when planning their futures. Studies highlight that financial worries are one of the top sources of stress during pregnancy and a leading cause of relationship breakdowns. The costs of childbirth, childcare, and raising a family are enormous, yet many young couples enter marriage without seriously considering this burden.
While both partners can contribute financially, the reality is that pregnancy and motherhood are physically and emotionally demanding. Adding financial pressure on top of that can create unnecessary strain.
The Reality Check of Pregnancy
Love can be blinding, but pregnancy is sobering.
Men need to understand that hormonal fluctuations during and after pregnancy amplify a woman’s need for stability, security, and emotional support. If a man lacks financial stability, emotional intelligence, or leadership skills, these deficiencies will become glaringly obvious.
Many red flags that were ignored before pregnancy will become impossible to overlook once a woman is expecting. A man’s confidence, emotional maturity, and responsibility levels will all be tested. If he falls short, the stress this creates can be difficult—if not impossible—to repair.
What Really Turns Women On: It’s Not Just About Looks
Many men mistakenly believe that attraction is built in the bedroom. This is false.
Women are far more turned on by a man’s ability to take tasks off her hands, create a safe environment, and provide stability. Research shows that postpartum women often experience changes in libido due to hormonal shifts, exhaustion, and stress. However, when men step up—by sharing household responsibilities, making decisions with confidence, and offering emotional support—it alleviates stress, strengthens the relationship, and fosters deeper intimacy.
Simply put: A man’s leadership and reliability are far more attractive than temporary charm or romance.
The Long-Term Effects on Relationships & Children
While not all research agrees, there is strong evidence suggesting that:
Men who fail to develop strong earning potential, emotional intelligence, and leadership skills are more likely to experience relationship breakdowns and even divorce.
Children with more parental support, particularly from a present mother, tend to have better emotional and academic development.
Being a stay-at-home mother can be as stressful as working in an emergency room, according to studies measuring cortisol levels.
The overarching point? When a man is able to provide financial and emotional stability, the entire family benefits.
A common argument against this is: “Why can’t the mother take on this role too?” The answer is simple—pregnancy and motherhood are already incredibly demanding. While dual-income households can thrive, many women find that adding financial stress on top of childbirth, recovery, and childcare responsibilities is a risk not always worth taking.
A Call to Action: Be Intentional About Your Future
As a health and performance coach, my intent in writing this blog is to encourage more responsible dating and marriage decisions for the sake of mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Financial and emotional struggles place enormous stress on families, but much of this can be prevented with better planning and higher standards in choosing a life partner.
I challenge all men reading this to step up—develop high-level skills, maximize your earning potential, and embrace leadership. This will not only make you a happier, more fulfilled man, but it will also make you the ultimate foundation of support for your family.
At the same time, I challenge women to sober up—take your mental, hormonal, and physical health seriously. Don’t just seek romantic love that feels good in the moment. Look at a man’s earning potential, emotional intelligence, physical strength, and mental resilience. These factors will determine the ease or difficulty of your future.
And finally, become the kind of woman who attracts high-performing men. Because when both men and women hold themselves to higher standards, families, relationships, and communities thrive.
Final Thoughts
The modern world gives us more choices than ever before. But with these choices comes responsibility. Don’t leave your future to chance. Build the life you want with intention, discipline, and high standards—for yourself, your future partner, and your future family.
